By the Morning Light_Smoke and Mirrors Read online

  “If you knew—if you saw what I’ve seen…” Aeonia shook her head. “You would understand what I mean.”

  “Then help me understand. Do you know about magic?”

  It was hard to tell in the flickering light from the torches, but I swore she went pale at that. “No!” Aeonia said. “Why would I know about magic? Don’t be ridiculous, Claudette.”

  “All right…” Not wanting to ruin the evening, I decided to drop it. But I knew, deep in my gut, that she was lying.

  Aeonia knew something. And I wanted to know what it was.

  ***

  Aeonia must have sensed my intentions because she kept me busy for the rest of the night. The hours flew by in a blur, and when I stumbled home after midnight, I couldn’t remember half of what we’d seen and done. There’d been a female fire eater, a man who charmed snakes, animals doing tricks, and a girl not much older than Aurora who told my fortune and got it completely wrong. She said I had a sister, for one, and she was going to surprise me with a new pet goldfish when I got home that night. As I had neither a sister nor did I expect a goldfish to appear in my room, I hadn’t known how to respond to her fortune, so I’d politely thanked her and quickly exited the tent as I smothered my giggles behind my hand.

  “Let me tell you your fortune,” Aeonia said after we had a good laugh over my “sister” and my new pet. “I’m actually good at it.”

  It was then that I glanced up at the moon and realized it was much later than I originally thought. “I have to go home. Tomorrow?”

  She clasped her hands around mine and we shook on it. “It’s a promise!”

  Once I arrived home, I mounted the stairs and paused outside Emile’s room. The door was shut, but I could see the glowing yellow light from a candle through a crack in the wood. I tapped on the door lightly before letting myself in.

  Emile was sitting up in bed, an open book in his lap. He glanced at me. “You’re back.”

  “I just got home.” I paused, wondering if he was still angry. “I looked for you tonight, but…”

  “We didn’t stay very long. Father was tired.” Emile shut the book and placed it on his night table before sliding off the bed. “Did you have fun?”

  “I did, but…” I stepped into the room, staring at my feet as Michel’s words from earlier echoed in my ears. I decided to ignore them. “I missed you, Emile.” When he didn’t say anything I reached for one of his hands and squeezed it between both of mine. “Come with me tomorrow night, please? Aeonia said she’ll tell me my fortune. And it won’t be a lousy one about my sister and my new pet goldfish.”

  Emile’s eyebrows rose at that.

  I waved a hand. “Never mind. Just say you’ll come. Please?” I widened my eyes, knowing he would have a hard time resisting my pleading look.

  “What about Michel?”

  I scowled. “What about him? He disappeared the moment we arrived. To be with Aurora.” Disdain dripped from my words like acid. “You never should have listened to him, Emile. I thought we agreed he’s an idiot?”

  Emile pulled his hand away and collapsed on the bed, lying on his back. The candlelight flickered wildly, making shadow monsters dance on the ceiling. “He is, but he was right. I would have only gotten in the way.”

  I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling a loose string from his blanket. “No, you wouldn’t have. Why couldn’t we have both explored the carnival with Aeonia?” Again I thought of Michel’s words. “Am I… Am I holding you back?”

  His gaze darted from the ceiling to me and I could see that I’d surprised him. “Holding me back? From what?”

  “From making friends? Friends that… aren’t me?” I wound the string around my finger tighter and tighter until I cut off the blood flow.

  He watched me carefully. “Did Michel say that? After I left?”

  I nodded.

  My brother made a noise of disgust. Throwing his arm over his eyes, he said, “And you had the nerve to yell at me for listening to him? You did the same thing!”

  “Oh.” I hadn’t realized that.

  “Come here.” Emile scooted over and patted the spot next to him. I flopped down on the bed, sharing a pillow with him as we stared up at the ceiling. “You’re my best friend,” he said. “And I’ve never, ever resented you for that. I’ve never thought you were a hindrance or an annoyance or someone who prevented me from making other friends.”

  “Me neither,” I was quick to say. “I’m glad we met Aeonia, and I liked talking with her, but when the carnival packs up, we’ll never see her again.”

  “But you’ll be stuck with me.” Emile tapped his shoulder against mine.

  “Forever, right?” I asked.

  Instead of responding, he reached under his shirt to free the disc. Sliding the cord over his head, he held it in front of me. “Grab it,” he said when I didn’t do anything.

  Curious, I reached out to hold it. With the candlelight gleaming against its gold surface, it looked like a miniature sun floating over our heads as we both grasped it.

  “Now what?”

  “Now we make a promise,” he said. “No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, we stick together.”

  “Forever and always,” I added. The disc warmed under my touch.

  “Forever and always,” he repeated. I let go of the disc and he looped the cord back over his neck. “Now, tell me about this goldfish of yours.”

  “Actually, I have something even better.” I turned so I was lying on my side and Emile mimicked my position, our heads bent together closely. “I think Aeonia might know something about magic.”

  His eyes widened with excitement. “Never mind about the goldfish. Tell me what she said!”

  Despite the late hour and my increasingly heavy eyelids, I filled Emile in on everything, including my plans to find out more about Aeonia. “Will you help me?”

  Tapping the disc, he said, “Of course.”

  Chapter Seven

  The carnival wouldn’t open until dusk, which meant Emile and I were put to work on the farm by our parents. After a long, grueling morning and a quick lunch, Papa dismissed us and Emile and I headed for the castle, knowing we’d find the others there.

  We were right. But what I didn’t expect was to find Aeonia and Aurora there as well.

  Aeonia was sitting to the side, her gauzy skirts spread out around her as she watched a couple of older boys spar. Michel was with Aurora, standing in front of one of the stained glass windows. The sunlight caught the dark strands of his hair, illuminating him. He looked so beautiful that it took my breath away.

  But then I remembered what he’d said the day before and averted my gaze.

  “Claudette!” Aeonia waved me over. After making sure Emile was following me, I joined her. “I was hoping you’d show up! I’ve been so bored.”

  “You don’t like watching a bunch of boys fighting?” I asked, raising my voice to be heard over the sound of their swords clashing.

  Aeonia rolled her eyes. “Hardly. This is more of my sister’s thing, although she can’t seem to look away from that one.” Her gaze darted from me to my brother and her cheeks went pink. “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Emile and I both shrugged, resigned to the fact that we’d lost this round to Aurora. It didn’t bother us because we knew she’d be gone in a few weeks, nothing but a distant memory as Michel moved on to his next conquest.

  “Are you going to spar?” Aeonia asked. “Or can I have you all to myself?” When I didn’t say anything, she pointed to Emile. “Both of you, I mean. I’m sorry about yesterday, Emile. You’ll come with us tonight, won’t you?”

  Emile sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him as he leaned against the castle’s stone wall. “Of course. I heard you’re going to tell Claudette’s fortune? Maybe you’ll tell me mine, too?”

  Aeonia’s eyes brightened. “Yes, I’d love that! I’m so tired of practicing on my family members. It’s not like theirs is going to c
hange all that much.”

  “How come you don’t have your own tent?” Emile asked. One of the sparring boys had his sword knocked from his hands and it clattered to the floor with a loud crash. Michel pushed himself off the wall and started speaking to the boy, explaining what he’d done wrong. Even though Michel was younger than the two who’d been training, they still looked at him with respect, nodding at what he said.

  “I’m too young,” Aeonia said in answer to Emile’s question. The sour look on her face showed just what she thought about that. “They said I have to wait until I’m sixteen, at least. So in the meantime, I practice, practice, practice.”

  The two boys resumed their sparring. Watching them, Emile said, “Sometimes that’s all you can do…”

  I settled against the stone wall, tapping out a rhythm on my knee with my fingers. There was something about this spacious room flanked by windows on both sides that made me restless. I wanted nothing more than to pick up one of the practice swords and start fighting. Like Aeonia, however, I was deemed too young and had never sparred with anyone. Knowing how much I hated being left out, Emile said he’d wait until my fifteen birthday before he began sparring. Michel and the others had been astonished by this.

  I wondered how they’d react if they realized we’d been lying to them all this time.

  There had been one night last winter, with the ground frozen and the moon a giant glowing white orb in the sky, when Emile and I had stolen out of bed and snuck into the main city. We kept to the shadows, knowing we’d be in a world of trouble if we were caught. But the air was so frigid I swore we were the only ones crazy enough to venture out in it.

  When we reached the castle, Emile had pulled a side wooden door—the one the squires always used—open carefully, but it still creaked ominously. The noise echoed off the buildings and we dove into the shadows of the castle, our hearts racing. When no came to investigate, we breathed twin sighs of relief and stole into the castle.

  Inside the training room we didn’t dare light any of the torches that hung on the wall. The full moon illuminated the room enough to see by and we kept our coats and scarves on to stave off the cold. Even though my fingers were freezing, I took off my gloves so I could better grip the wooden practice sword. As much as I itched to pick up a steel sword, like a real Knight, I knew I wasn’t ready.

  That’s what the secret practice session was for. To help us become ready.

  And so Emile and I dueled for two hours. Then, dripping in sweat and struggling to catch our breaths, we returned the swords to their spots on the shelf against the wall and left the castle. We tiptoed back home and into the safety of our beds, but not before promising to spar under the next full moon.

  It’d been three months since then. Three sparring matches and it wasn’t close to enough. I wanted to grow stronger, faster. I wanted to be like the two boys battling right now. I wanted to pick up a sword and show Michel what I could do.

  I wanted to impress him.

  “Not yet,” Emile murmured, low enough that I was the only one who heard him. Once again he knew exactly what I was thinking. And judging by the hungry look in his eyes, I knew I wasn’t the only one who was hearing the call of the sword.

  ***

  “Are you going to the carnival again tonight?” Maman asked as the four of us sat around the dining room table eating bowls of stew.

  “Yes,” I answered with my mouth full. When my mother glared at me, I swallowed quickly. “Emile and I are going to meet our friend. She’s going to tell our fortunes.”

  My parents exchanged a look. “You befriended one of the travelers?”

  Briefly I wondered if I shouldn’t have said anything. But why should I keep Aeonia’s identity hidden? It wasn’t like our parents warned us to stay away from the carnival or the travelers.

  “Is that all right?” Emile’s spoon hovered over his stew, his expression worried. If our parents forbid us from going tonight, he’d be the one to listen to them.

  I’d be the one escaping through the window and scaling down the side of the house, throwing pebbles at Emile’s window until he joined me.

  “It’s fine,” Papa said, “as long as you remember that the carnival isn’t here for very long. Just a few short weeks and they move on to their next destination.”

  “We know that,” I said, even as I felt a stab of panic deep in my gut. I’d only known Aeonia for two days, but saying goodbye already seemed like a daunting task. Would I be able to do it?

  Across the table, Emile watched me carefully. I gave him a smile, but I could tell he wasn’t convinced.

  “We just don’t want you to get too attached,” Maman said. “It’s not like you could write to your new friend, not when they never stay in one place for too long.” She propped her chin up on her hand, sighing. “What kind of life is that, I wonder?”

  “It sounds amazing,” I said. Everyone turned to stare at me, and I felt myself begin to blush. “I’m not saying I’m going to leave or anything, but haven’t you ever wanted to see what’s out there? Past Ayres?”

  “To the east is the ocean,” Papa replied. “And to the west are more cities like ours. What’s there to see? It’s all the same. You have everything you need right here. There’s no need to explore.”

  “I’m just curious,” I muttered, staring at my stew as I stirred the contents with my spoon faster and faster. “And so is Emile, although he’ll never tell you because he doesn’t want to make you upset.”

  “Claudette!” my brother cried in horror.

  “You’re fourteen and fifteen,” Papa reminded us, as if we didn’t know that already. “You’ve got school to go to and chores to complete. Neither one of you is going anywhere.” His tone of voice told us to drop it, and we did, eating the rest of our dinner in silence. I was half-afraid they were going to tell us we couldn’t go to the carnival, but after we’d cleaned up and washed the dishes, my parents handed us some coins and told us to have fun.

  “I guess when Papa said we couldn’t go anywhere, he was only talking about us leaving Ayres,” I said as Emile and I walked down the dusty road toward the carnival. Already people were out, heading in the same direction as we were, and I smiled and waved to our neighbors.

  “I don’t know why you had to say anything.” Emile had his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His shoulders were hunched forward, and he was staring at the ground instead of looking at me. “You didn’t have to get them upset.”

  I waved away his comments with a flick of my hand. “They weren’t upset. They were just surprised. Besides, they don’t think we’re serious. You heard Papa. We’re just children. But when we’re adults…”

  Now Emile looked at me. “You really want to go?”

  “Don’t you?” When he didn’t answer, I pressed further. “Emile, we’ve talked about this so many times! You want to see what’s beyond these plains or the ocean just as much as I do!” As neither one of us had any experience sailing—besides the one time Papa took us on a friend’s boat and we’d gotten seasick—I knew we’d head west rather than east. We would get a pair of horses and set off into the world, seeing as much of it as we could.

  At least, I thought Emile felt the same way as I did, but with the way he was looking at me, I wasn’t so certain anymore.

  “We talked about it, yes,” Emile said slowly. “But that’s a lot different from actually doing it. Our home is here. Our parents are here.”

  “But we can make a home anywhere,” I said, even though the thought of leaving Ayres and my parents behind did sadden me.

  Emile shook his head. “I don’t want my home to be anywhere but here!”

  I stared at him. What had happened to my brother who craved adventure as much as I did? Who wanted to see a dragon because he secretly believed they weren’t all extinct? Who was curious about magic and wondered if it still existed? Did he really think we could learn the truth of the world by spending our lives hiding in Ayres?

  I didn’t. I wanted
to see what the world had to offer. No, I needed to go. It was like an insatiable hunger, one that wouldn’t be sated until I left.

  But was I brave enough to leave by myself? I always thought I’d be ready to leave Ayres because I’d have my brother by my side, lending me his strength. But if he wasn’t there to encourage me, to comfort me, would I still be able to do it?

  No. I couldn’t. Not when the mere thought of leaving Emile made it feel as if someone had reached into my chest and tore my heart free. He was my other half. If visiting the carnival without him the previous night had caused me so much heartache and pain, then how could I even think about walking away from him forever?

  “Emile.” My feet slowed until I came to a stop. My brother glanced up and when he noticed I wasn’t walking beside him, he backtracked until he was standing next to me. Other people jostled past us until Emile took me by the hand and led me off the path and into the grass. It was too early for crickets and I wished it wasn’t. Their song would have comforted me right now.

  “What’s wrong?” Emile studied my face. “Are you mad? You are, aren’t you?”

  “No, not mad. Just… scared.” I crossed my arms over my chest, squeezing tightly.

  “Scared? About what?”

  “Losing you.”

  “Claudette, I’m not going anywhere. We promised just last night that we’d always stick together, didn’t we?” Emile asked. When I didn’t answer, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed loudly. “Look, Papa was right.”

  I glared at him. “I can’t believe you—”

  Emile held up his hands. “Let me finish! He’s right about us being young. We can’t go anywhere right now. But in a few years…” Emile spread his hands wide. “Maybe we’ll leave.”

  I felt a rush of hope. “Really?”

  “But not for good,” Emile continued. “We’d have to come back, to see our parents.”